By: Dr. Verna Benjamin Lambert
A child is usually ready for kindergarten when they can manage their feelings around other kids, follow simple directions, talk in full sentences and handle basic self care like using the bathroom alone. Letters and numbers matter too, but most teachers will tell you the social and emotional skills carry more weight on day one than whether your child can already read.
That's good news, because those skills grow through everyday play, conversation and routine, not flashcards.
School readiness isn't one skill. It's growth in several areas that develop at their own pace, and the factors that show up again and again are these four:
Social and emotional growth: Can your child wait a turn, share a toy most of the time, recover from a disappointment and ask an adult for help?
Language: Can they explain what they want, tell you about their day and follow a story?
Early thinking skills: Do they notice patterns, count small groups of objects and stay with an activity for a few minutes?
Physical skills and independence: Can they hold a crayon, manage a zipper, eat lunch on their own and keep up with a busy day?
A fifth factor sits underneath all of these: steady relationships with caring adults. The Harvard Center on the Developing Child describes the back and forth exchanges between young children and adults (a child babbles or points, an adult responds) as a key part of how the brain builds the connections behind communication and social skills. Readiness grows out of thousands of those small moments, at home and in a good early learning classroom.
Use this list as a guide for the year before kindergarten. Several items line up with the CDC's developmental milestones, which the CDC defines as "things most children can do by a certain age." We've noted where an item comes from the CDC's lists for 4 year olds and 5 year olds.
Social and emotional skills
Takes turns and follows simple rules when playing games with other children (a CDC milestone by age 5)
Comforts a friend who is hurt or sad (CDC, by age 4)
Uses words, not hands, when upset, at least some of the time
Likes to be a helper and can do simple chores like clearing the table (CDC, ages 4 and 5)
Changes behavior based on the setting, like being quieter in church or the library (CDC, by age 4)
Language and early literacy
Speaks in sentences of four or more words (CDC, by age 4)
Tells a story with at least two events, real or made up (CDC, by age 5)
Answers simple questions about a book after you read it together (CDC, by age 5)
Keeps a conversation going for more than three back and forth exchanges (CDC, by age 5)
Recognizes or uses simple rhymes like bat and cat (CDC, by age 5)
Names some letters when you point to them and writes some letters in their name (CDC, by age 5)
Early math and thinking
Counts to 10 (CDC, by age 5)
Names some numbers between 1 and 5 when you point to them (CDC, by age 5)
Names a few colors (CDC, by age 4)
Uses time words like yesterday, tomorrow, morning or night (CDC, by age 5)
Physical skills and self care
Holds a crayon or pencil between fingers and thumb, not in a fist (CDC, by age 4)
Buttons some buttons (CDC, by age 5)
Hops on one foot (CDC, by age 5)
Uses the bathroom and washes hands with little help
Puts on a jacket and shoes (Velcro counts)
Listening and following directions
Pays attention for 5 to 10 minutes during story time or an art activity, with screens not counting (CDC, by age 5)
Follows a two step direction like "hang up your coat and wash your hands"
Sits with a group for a short circle time
Pays attention for 5 to 10 minutes during story time or an art activity, with screens not counting (CDC, by age 5)
Follows a two step direction like "hang up your coat and wash your hands"
Sits with a group for a short circle time
Very few children check every box. The CDC notes that its milestone materials are not a substitute for standardized developmental screening, and a checklist like this one is a guide, not a test. A child who reads early might still struggle with buttons, and that's normal.
Here's a simple way to look at it:
| What you're seeing | What it usually means | What to do |
|---|---|---|
| Most items checked in most areas | Your child is on track | Keep reading, playing and talking every day |
| A few gaps in one area | Normal variation | Practice that area through play over the next few months |
| Many gaps across several areas | Worth a closer look | Talk with your child's teacher or pediatrician |
| Your gut says something is off | Trust it | Ask your pediatrician about a developmental screening |
Read together every day: Stop to ask "what do you think happens next?" and let your child retell the story afterward.
Play games with rules: Simple board games and card games build turn taking, counting and handling a loss.
Give real jobs: Setting napkins on the table, matching socks and feeding a pet all build independence and following directions.
Talk about feelings: Naming emotions ("you look frustrated") gives your child words to use when you're not there.
A good preschool year gives children daily practice with the things a checklist can't fully capture: following a group routine, working through a conflict with a classmate and feeling confident in a room full of new faces. If you're curious about what research says on the longer term effects, our post on the benefits of early childhood education walks through it.
At Benjamin Prep, kindergarten readiness is built into our two preschool classes. Shooting Stars (ages 3 to 4) focuses on the academics children need for a smooth move into grade school, along with foreign language, math and science, speech and dance. Show Kids (ages 4 to 5) builds on those same strengths, and children perform several times a year and help create original works for the stage. Performing for an audience is great practice for speaking up in a kindergarten classroom.
You can see how reading, math and science fit together on our academics page, and programs like the Good News Desk, a speaking and performance activity, give children regular chances to share their ideas out loud. If you want to see a Shooting Stars or Show Kids classroom in action, schedule a tour of our Vinings campus and watch a morning unfold.
Most parents start paying attention the year before kindergarten, but the language, self control and motor skills on this checklist start forming in the toddler years. If you're still deciding when your child should start preschool in the first place, our guide to what age preschool starts and how long it lasts lays out the timeline from infancy to 2nd grade.
What is the most important skill for kindergarten readiness?
Most teachers point to social and emotional skills, like taking turns, following directions and handling frustration. A child who can manage those things usually picks up letters and numbers quickly once school starts.
Should my child know how to read before kindergarten?
No, most children are not reading before kindergarten, and that's expected. By age 5, the CDC lists naming some letters and writing some letters in their name as typical milestones. Reading together every day is the best way to build toward it.
Can my child start kindergarten without going to preschool?
Yes. Many children start kindergarten without preschool and do well. Preschool gives children practice with group routines and early skills, but a home with lots of reading, play and conversation can build many of the same skills.
What if my child doesn't meet everything on the kindergarten readiness checklist?
That's normal. Children develop unevenly, and checklists are guides, not pass or fail tests. If you notice gaps across several areas, talk with your child's teacher or pediatrician about whether a developmental screening makes sense.
How do I know if my child is ready for kindergarten socially?
Watch how your child plays with other kids. If they can join a game, take turns most of the time and recover from small disappointments with a little help, they're likely in good shape.
If you want your child to build kindergarten readiness through faith, academics and the confidence that comes from performing on stage, our Shooting Stars and Show Kids classes were designed with that goal in mind.
Benjamin Preparatory School is a Christian preschool and daycare in the Vinings area of Atlanta at 2445 Church Rd SE, Atlanta, GA 30339, serving children from 6 weeks old through 2nd grade. Each school day blends faith, STEAM+ academics and daily performing arts like tap, ballet, music and drama, and a whole foods menu is included. Families in Vinings, Smyrna, Cumberland, Mableton and northwest Atlanta choose Benjamin Prep so their children can grow in faith, learning and confidence in one place. Families driving in from Marietta or Kennesaw are welcome too, and a tour is the easiest way to see whether the commute and the fit work for you.
Schedule a tour of our Vinings campus, get directions, see our programs by age, or call (770) 436-5200 to talk with our team.
Dr. Verna R. Benjamin-Lambert, known to families as "Dr. Benji," is the founder of Benjamin Preparatory School, which she started as The Benjamin Preschool of Academic and Performing Arts in Smyrna, Georgia. She holds a doctorate in education leadership from Nova Southeastern University and is a graduate of St. Joseph's Teachers' College in Jamaica. Before founding the school, she served as an administrator in a Georgia school system, where she advocated for students who were falling behind academically.
Dr. Benji is also an author. Her book Health Intelligence: The Path to a Healthier You looks at the core issues behind childhood obesity, and her Healthy Benji children's books help young readers build healthy eating habits. One belief guides every classroom at Benjamin Prep: "Every child has a soul, and every soul has a purpose."